Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
