uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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