Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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