I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
