I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
