Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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