chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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