i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
