Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
