Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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