Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
