I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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