Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
