hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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