whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I currently don't understand fingers.
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