Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think your dad took our porno
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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