Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
only you would photoshop your dick
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
