omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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