Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he's gonorrhea incarnate
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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