So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just google imaged poop.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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