you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize