I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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