Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
