She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
