so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
