Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
