Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
