lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He shit in the fireplace
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
