Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
