Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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