You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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