Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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