just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Terrible idea I love it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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