I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
