After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
