New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
