Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize