Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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