I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
