Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My ATM looks so different sober.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
