I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
and you fell through a lawn chair
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
