super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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