Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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