I got chris browned last night
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
