Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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