so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
