He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize