Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
