D3 body, D1 cock
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
