I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
