Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
