Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
