I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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