tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
