You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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