I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
