i permit you to call me
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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