This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
