Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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