I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I need water and some morals
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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