And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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