I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
