I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
