Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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