Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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