I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
