gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
