Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
