Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
