Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
