we made out on top of his cat.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
