The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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