the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize